Hanging on to that 15th Minute of Fame for Dear Life

Tila Tequlia launched her gossip blog with a groupie tale about her making out with Amber Rose. Hope they had the Valtrex handy!

Lemme tell ya’ll a funny story about Miss Tila and Miss Amber Rose! A long time ago, I would say around last Summer, when Miss Rose was all over the press as Kanananazeezzyyzyzyyy’s boo and I must admit, just like everyone else, I had a MADDDD HUGE CRUSH ON AMBER!!! So one day last Summer at P. Diddy’s Annual White Party, I went there and I saw my dream girl… Miss Amber Rose! Ohhhhhhhhhhh Snap son!!!!! I’m about to goooooooo innnnnnnnnnnnnn, in a good way, of course! LOL I was thinking to myself “I’m about to do some cock-blockin on Kanananazzeyezzyyy and steal my Wifey Amber from him!” LMAO!


So I was being a little cute stalker and Miss Amber Rose was by the restrooms, so I walked up in there to get as close as I can to that fine ASSSSS of hers (me want to touch the hiney! lol) and then I said to her “ohh Miss Amber Rose! You fine as hellll mama! May I take a picture with you????”

and of course with her thick Philly accent she said “yea fasho!” LOL *Heart Melts*

OK so fast forward a little bit more, we swapped numbers and kept in touch and chatted every once ina while! I was ALWAYS hollarin at her on BBM! LOL I would be like “Damn girl, when u gonna sit on my face??? Let’s make a sex tape together I wanna tap that ass so bad!” hahahaha! No I swear, I really said these things to her!

She was a good sport tho and would be laughing her ass off and be like “hahahaa girl you crazy witcha bad self!”

But I was not gonna give up on tappin that fine ass! Kanaanananeyeyzoyyyeeeezzyy who?? sorry dude… but that’s my chick! LMAO! *Runs and hides* anyway so she would invite me to fly to Miami with her and hang with her and her girlfriends, but dammit my fucking schedule at the time, I was busy flying all over the place hosting parties and performing and stuff so I missed out! UGHHHH! So it was like that on and off for a LONG time! Us always trying to meet up and schedules were always conflicting! I always told her myself that Imma steal her from kananananayeyeyeeyeyzzzzyzyzzyyy and she would always laugh and say “Girl witcha crazy ass self!” Mmmmmmm * heart Melts again* LMAO

Ok so fast forward to these pics. Since the loser stalkers leaked my number on the net, I change my number like once every month so nobody has my numbers. I do it all the time. It’s become a MANDATORY thing! so anyway I never gave Amber my new number cuz I just got lazy after getting a new number every month!!! So once I bumped into her again at Kitchen 24, i was like “ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh weeeeeeeeeeeee there’s ma wifey yo!” LOL

So I went over to her table, and she was also wearing something white and matched my white costume from my earlier performance that night! Not sure if Miss Amber Rose Saw the old posts I made about her when my site first launched, where I was giving her tips on how to stay relevant, but hmmm….maybe she took my advice????? Because we chatted for a bit and she told me she now decided to move to LA so she lives here now! She is trying to pitch a new non-scripted reality show and I told her that I have one that’s arlready done so we most DEF gotta be on each other’s show, but even more importantly, we GOTTA BE ON EACH OTHER!!! Buahahhaaaha!

Anyway, Amber is a super down ass bitch and a real sweetheart, we swapped spit for a little bit until the paparazzi came inside and started taking pics of us, so then we had to play it like we were just chillen! Didn’t wanna get caught there! muahahaha! The minute the paps flashed pics, we stopped kissing…. UGHHHH ya see? Sometimes I like the paps, but for this particular situation, I HATE THE PAPS! COCK BLOCKING ME AND MY DREAM WIFEY MAKING OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME! GOD DAMMIT! So of course we stopped and that’s why I was laughing so much….well both of us laughing so much in the pics cuz we almost got popped making out…. but I’m fast so we stopped and just gave the paparazzi’s some nice “friendly” shots of her and i together like we were just kicking it……… but litttle do they know! muahahahahaha! Sorry Kananananaeyeyyayeeyyyyzzzzzeeeyyzy! But I stole ya girl! ahhhhh Don’t hate me! 808 Heartbeats or whatever! I dont know what that has to do with this blog post but i think I’m giving you some pub so that way you dont hate me ok, kanananananeeeezyzyzzzeeeeyzytyzyy?!” lol


Aight, ummmm.. oh yea so then here’s a pic where I was giving her my new number since I change it all the time! Then the next day, my dumbass missed out on my Wifey’s call because she wanted me to be her date to Drake’s/young Money concert, to which I was aslo invited to. I wasn’t planning on going since I was so tired, but DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN if my ass wasn’t asleep I DEFINITELY woulda went with my Wifey Amber! She couldn’t get a hold of me on my phone cuz my dead ass was asleep! GRRRRRRRRRRR!

So of course I missed out…. BUT NEVER FEAR PEOPLE, Imma keep hollarin at my Boo Amber Rose! Cuz I was invited to the next bit red carpet event, the “MAXIM HOT 100″ Annual red carpet party! So imma hit my wifey up to be my date for that event…….. Then Imma get her drunk, then Imma take her back to my crib, and ummmmm…………….. LOL…. That’s all Imma say! POW POW POW! 2 BADDEST BITCHES ON THE BLOCK TOGETHER? YUM! Can’t get no betta! POW! To be continued…………..

DISCLAIMER: AMBER ROSE AND I ARE JUST HOMIES! I ALWAYS JOKE AROUND WITH HER LIKE THIS CUZ SHE’S A REALLY DOWN ASS CHICK, BUT OF COURSE WE DIDN’T MAKE OUT! JUST A CUTE KISS ON THE CHEEKS LIKE HOW FRIENDS DO…. LOL BUT DAYAM…..CAN A GIRL JUST DREAM FOR A MOMENT THAT AMBER AND I MADE OUT???? LOL….. FINE KANNANANEEEYYZZZY! YOU WIN… I LOSE…. *HUGS* LOL LOVE YOU BOTH! MUAH!

UPDATE: OH YEA, MORE EXCLUSIVE NEWS, DESPITE RUMORS ABOUT AMBER AND KANYE, AMBER TOLD ME THAT SHE AND YEEZY IS STILL GOING REALLY STRONG AND THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER AND MORE IN LOVE THAN EVER! SO THERE YOU GO! MORE EXCLUSIVES, ONLY AT www.MissTilaOMG.com  so set my damn gossip site as your homepage already! U know u want to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POW! KAPOW! KABOOM! lol

Jacked from Tila OMG